I HAVE MOVED, once again. At last, I have moved. OUT OF SILENCE has now gone into oblivion. And THE COSMOPOLITAN has just been born. You see, life is too exciting to remain in one place for a very long time, is it not? There must be motion, variety, change, and…randomness.
SO I HAVE packed my bags and baggage, and THE COSMOPOLITAN has opened. Stop by and visit me – the address is www.tcosmopolitan.wordpress.com.
AND JUST A REMINDER – if you are linked to me, don’t forget to change the link to the new address:-)
Posted 21.04.2009 by Nastya Andreyovna Categories:Uncategorized
DON’T CRY FOR ME
by Pearlie Duncan Walker
When I’m gone; don’t cry for me
I am not dead; I’m in sweet eternity
I’ll live forever; I’ll wait for all of you
When it’s your time; it’s what God would have us do.
He called my name; He said come home
I did not die; please do not cry; I will no more roam
I’ll be by our Savior forever; soon, you too
We’ll walk in the light; praising God in all that we do.
Do not mourn for me; I have sweet victory
I’ll walk in Gods’ garden; and glories see
I am not dead; He set me free; an Angel called to me
Its beautiful here; Heavens’ full of cheer; you’ll see.
I did not die my love; I only went ahead
I knew you’d understand; though I know this, you’ll dread
That will pass too; do all God would have you do
Maybe up there God will let me have; a glimpse of you.
I did not die, so do not cry; I’ll meet you here one day
Jesus will send an Angel to bring you to me; all the way
Our love is sure; our hearts are strong
I did not die, so please don’t cry; I AM HOME!
ONE YEAR.
A WHOLE YEAR HAS PASSED since the fateful day that I lost a friend. Lost MORE than a friend – lost an encouragement, lost a joy, lost an angel. ONLY 17, she passed quietly in her own bedroom with her family gathered around her. The girl that had cried for life, been determined to live for so long. The friend that had struggled and fought for 16 long months. WE LOST, BUT HEAVEN GAINED something that must be making it brighter with each passing moment.
Alesya was born in Samara, Russia in 1990.
IN 1997, SHE AND HER FAMILY EMIGRATED TO CALIFORNIA for a new life, like so many other Russians. She was a star student, and was even seen on TV playing the violin. She was a beauty, and could have easily have been a model. Often I would gaze at her and shake my head in envy, wondering why some got all and others none:-). She had the sweetest personality of anyone I have ever met – her soft voice and sweet smile made me fall in love with her at once. As a child, I relished every moment I spent playing with her or spending time with her family. She was saved at a young age, and the love of God shining through her was obvious to see. Her mother Zoya often told us of how Alesya always was her right hand housekeeper, and loved to help clean the house. Her plans were to become a pediatrician, or “something to help people”, she told me. She wanted to get married and have a family. Not ambitious, her highest aims were to be used of God and reach out to other’s needs. And, ah, God granted her wish – though in a way that none of us had ever considered.
For ALESYA’S HEALTH BEGAIN FAILING IN EARLY 2007. Her family began to notice her growing weakness with alarm, and her mother raced her to the doctor when she began limping noticeably. A series of tests began, and I received this email from her younger sister Oksana -
“Nastya, please pray. Something is terribly wrong with Alesya. My mom is taking her to the doctor, and they have run tests, but they still haven’t figured out what is wrong with her. It is very scary. Please pray!”
THE EMAIL COMPLETELY SHOOK ME. A slap in the face would not have startled me more. For, ironically, in the past my mind had sometimes contemplated the question – “What if Alesya ever became really sick and died?” Not a thought I ever tried to spend much time thinking over, as it was always sure to bring a torrent of tears, but now the irony of my thoughts actually scared me. What IF? Could my fears actually become reality? Sitting with my head in my hands, my mind wandered once more. What if her sickness proved to actually be something fatal? What if….oh, the thought made me shudder…what if she ended up with CANCER? And died? My mind painted vivid pictures of a dying friend in the hospital as we all stood saying goodbye to her. Oh, how could I BEAR to lose such a wonderful, beautiful friend? It was too much, and I broke down and sobbed bitterly at the thought. Then I straightened – sat up and shook the tears from my eyes. This was nonsense, I told myself. You are simply wasting time crying over nothing!
AH, BUT IT WAS NOT “NOTHING”. Not until she passed would I realize how accurate each of those fears would become. Looking back, I think it might have been God Himself, preparing me for the year to come.
ZOYA HAS TOLD US A POIGNANT STORY of God preparing her for the hardship before as well. Some time before Alesya fell ill, she had been following a story in the newspaper of a single mom and her boy with cancer. And when the boy finally died, Zoya found herself asking, “Oh, how could anyone bear to go through such a terrible thing as the slow death of a child?” Later, when she told us the story, she added tearfully, “Ah! Now I sees dat God was perpahring me foh de triahl I wood haf to face!”
THE NEXT EMAIL THAT CAME FROM OKSANA stated that Alesya had been transported to a large city some miles away to undergo an emergency surgery – they had found a tumor in her brain. The surgery was successful, she told me, and now they were running tests to see if the tumor was cancerous.
LATER, ZOYA TOLD US THE STORY of how Alesya, just recently out of surgery and barely able to move or speak, noticed an 18-month baby lying in a bed next to hers. This baby had already undergone several surgeries in it’s very short life, and it’s prospects were very grim. And Alesya saw the child, and her heart went out to it. Oblivious to her own suffering, Alesya struggled to speak the words, “Oh, Mom! The poor baby…..”
Several weeks of recovery followed.
WHEN WE STOPPED IN TO VISIT A FEW WEEKS AFTER SHE HAD COME HOME, we found a weak but radiant Alesya. Half of her body was paralyzed as a result of the damage the tumor had done, her movement was still slow and her speech slurred, but the love of life she had was strong. “Now,” she laughed, “I’ll have quite an exciting story to tell my kids!” Later when the adults filed into the kitchen for a Russian meal, Alesya detained me. She ordered Oksana, laughingly dubbed her “servant”, to rip the covers off of her and help her to her feet. Face radiant and wearing her lovely smile, she hesitantly took a few feeble steps toward me before falling back on her couch, exhausted. Gasping, she beamed “I just wanted you to see that I can STILL WALK!” Shortly after, the lovely flower began wilting and had to be carried off to bed by her faithful servant with the final command, “Take good care of my guests for me, Oksana, since I can’t!”
THEN, WEEKS LATER, THE TEST RESULTS CAME BACK, changing the lives of all of us. Something died within me as I read Oksana’s email -
“Nastya, I have terrible news. The test results have come, and Alesya has cancer.”
THE REST OF THE DAY, I WALKED AROUND THE HOUSE unable to do a single thing. My brain seemed hazy and my thoughts were scattered. The terrible weight on my heart would not lift. At church that night, I shared the terrible news with the congregation as a prayer request. Though they did not realize it, the sympathetic murmur they gave in response to my request soothed my pain a great deal. In particular, I vividly remember the look on Joy’s face when I announced the news – her jaw dropped in shock and face drawn as if about to cry. Somehow, this gave me a comfort I could not explain.
That night, I knelt to pray.
With a heavy heart, I unburdened my heart to the One who is always ready to listen. “Oh, God!” I cried. “Oh, please, Father, heal her! Raise her up! You know how I have prayed and prayed for her and her family ever since I have known them! Oh God, perform a miracle!”
And, out of the silence, He spoke. “My child, yes. I will perform a miracle. A great miracle. But it is not the miracle you are thinking of. For, Child, Alesya is not going to get well. I am going to take her to be with me.”
I broke down and sobbed uncontrollably. “No, God! NO! I don’t understand! You can’t do this! Oh, God NO! No! Heal her, can’t you please?”
I TOLD NO ONE OF THIS UNTIL ALESYA WAS DYING. In truth, I did my very best to forget it. Perhaps it had just been my imagination, I told myself. My emotions. I couldn’t let that take away my hope. But, deep in my heart, I couldn’t put the thought away. There is no mistaking the voice of God when He speaks. I knew. Nevertheless, I hoped against hope.
ALESYA BEGAN CHEMOTHERAPY, FULL OF HIGH HOPES AND HER INDOMITABLE SPIRIT. It was encouraging to all of us. Friends and family flooded her house just as flowers and letters flooded her mailbox. Despite her weakness, this was a happy time. She was well taken care of, the center of attention. “I’m even getting chubby!”, she said. Her youth group actually went in and redid the room that her brother had given up for her, writing messages all over the walls. God was providing the family with the boost they would need for the upcoming months.
AS CHEMOTHERAPY CONTINUED, Alesya grew weaker. But, finally, she finished, and MRI results came back showing the cancer had disappeared. We all rejoiced and praised God. The family was able to spend a week in Hawaii, one of Alesya’s favorite places to visit. Then, she went home to recover.
But she never did. Instead of growing stronger, she grew steadily weaker.
In late summer, I received another email from Oksana.
“Nastya, Alesya is very sick. She is growing weaker and weaker. She stays in bed most of the time, and she can hardly stand, even with me holding her up! She cannot even speak anymore.”
AGAIN, THE SHOCK WAS NAUSEATING.
And here, I sincerely thank Felecia for all the encouragement and support she gave me during this particular time – not even knowing the girl. She stood by me, comforting me and reminding me that God’s will was perfect. Dearest, I don’t know what I would have done without you!
WE MADE PLANS TO GO VISIT THE FAMILY and bring Felecia and her mom along. Zoya, always the perfect hostess, ushered us in to the family with much laughter and hugs.
But when my eyes fell upon the thin, white, speechless form with the shaved head wrapped in blankets, I was absolutely stunned.
Alesya I knew, but THIS girl was something completely different from the laughing, healthy girl I had seen only months before. But the radiant smile on her face confirmed the truth. This was the same beautiful, dear Alesya I knew and loved.
THROUGH THE ENTIRE VISIT, ALESYA’S SMILE NEVER LEFT HER. She beamed through each verse we read to her, each song we sang to her. Though it was often hard to keep back the tears, it was a happy visit. The troubles seemed to bring us all closer together, and we did our best to enjoy every moment of this short visit. When we all knelt to pray and we asked Alesya if she had any prayer requests, she smiled her beautiful smile and communicated through her mother, “For me to get well!”
Zoya followed us as we all filed out of the house. When we turned to say goodbye, the poor woman broke down. Then, she told us the terrible news.
The most recent MRI results had come back, showing that the cancer had completely enveloped her brain.
They had not yet had the heart to tell Alesya. “De doctohs geeve us no hope.”, she sobbed. “Dey have sent huh home to die. All we cahn hope foh ees…ees a miracle!”
FELECIA AND I VISITED THE FAMILY NEARLY EVERY WEEK. But as time went on, the visits gradually sobered.Even though she still talked about the days when she would wear her high heels again, things began growing darker. Our visits were gradually confined to her bedroom that she rarely left, and our stays grew shorter and shorter. By the time we left, she was often too tired to even say goodbye.
ONCE WHEN I STOPPED IN TO VISIT, I entered the door to hear Alesya crying. When she had quieted a little, Zoya ushered me into the bedroom. “How are you , Alesya?” I asked. She suddenly burst into tears. In mute sympathy, I sat beside her with my arm around her, unable to swallow the lump that rose in my own throat.
Yes, these visits were dark. But there was something in them that I’ll never be able to put out of my memory.
My expectations were to bring comfort to a lonely, depressed, and frustrated girl in pain. I prepared myself to go to try to bring a little strength to a dying girl. But, oh, how wrong I was! For it was not her who received encouragement, but I! For, as her physical strength left her and her outer beauty diminished, she never complained to us.
We would enter the bedroom to find a face radiant with inner joy and peace. Her smile never seemed to leave her face, no matter her condition. The very presence of heaven seemed to fill her room. I watched the limbs grow weaker – but I could not help notice that the inner beauty was growing. I saw the hope in her eyes fading, but, oh! I watched her trust shine more brightly.
It was obvious that she had a hidden source of strength – for when her strength left, something bigger and brighter came to take its place. Something that radiated from her glowing eyes and constant smile. Something so immortal that I would often gaze at the shining face in shock, feeling that I was looking upon the face of an angel. Ah, indeed I was!
I OFTEN WONDER HOW ALESYA MUST HAVE FELT WHEN SHE REALIZED AT LAST THAT SHE MUST DIE. For the dear girl wanted to live so much, and held onto life until the very last! Ah, what pain she must have gone through! But it is a most beautiful picture – God, coming to her and asking, “Alesya, I know you want to live. I know you have had plans. But I know that you have given your life to me, Dear Daughter. And you have often told me that you wanted to be used, that you wanted to help others. Child, I have a plan bigger than that. I have a plan for you to help others in a way that no mortal body could ever do. My dear Child, I want you to die. Will you?”
Ah, what would we do if we were asked such a question? Could we obey?
ALESYA SAID YES, and submitted her fate to Him so sweetly and trustfully that it is now no wonder to me why that heavenly light shone from her eyes. She had given her all to Him, and was determined to die, if that was what He asked.
What actually went through the dying girl’s head, I’ll never know. But some weeks before her death, she began passing out all her belongings to her family. Everything seemed to be given in love, from the smallest item to the greatest. And, at last, she told her mother, “Mom, I want YOU to have my pillow!”
Then, one day, we received a phone call.
“Come quickly!” Zoya said. “She ees dying, and she ees now comatose. The nuss, she says she could go in a few hours, a few days. Come!”
We went. Dreading the trauma to follow, I grabbed Pippi Longstocking as we dashed out to the car. I did NOT want to cry!
BUT I LOST IT WHEN WE FILED IN SMALL GROUPS into the darkened bedroom to say goodbye. Alesya’s face was very pale, her eyes closed, her breathing very heavy. A coma. Yes, death was very near. One look at the dear face, and I began sobbing.
Then with Zoya’s permission, we all went into the bedroom to sing the song that had been her favorite – the song she had always requested during our visits. The song that had always made her face light up with happiness.
Beyond the borders of time, there’s a beautiful land
Where the Word of God is glory unfurled
Andy by the grace of God I someday will call it my home
I’ll never miss heaven for the world
I’ll never miss seeing Jesus
I’ll never miss seeing loved ones
Who’ve gone on before
I’ll never trade forever
For a few days down here
I’ll never miss heaven for the world
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord
Though the things of earth may try to allure
For the smile of God means more than sin’s brief, glittering days
I’ll never miss heaven for the world
I’ll never miss seeing Jesus
I’ll never miss seeing loved ones
Who’ve gone on before
I’ll never trade forever
For a few days down here
I’ll never miss heaven for the world
When we get to that place, it’ll be worth going through
All the trials and afflictions down here
I’m going to finish this race, going to see Jesus’ face
I’ll never miss heaven for the world
I’ll never miss seeing Jesus
I’ll never miss seeing loved ones
Who’ve gone on before
I’ll never trade forever
For a few days down here
I’ll never miss heaven for the world
Suddenly, in the middle of the song, Alesya suddenly moved. We watched breathlessly as her mouth opened and she began to cry. Zoya rushed in and threw herself on the bed. “Alesya! ALESYA!”, she cried, patting her hands and staring intently into her face. The poor, distraught woman turned to us and began rapidly speaking to us in Russian.
At last, we filed out of the room, each one stopping for a moment to say goodbye to the lovely angel that we would never see on earth again. I lingered by the bedside, hating to end this final moment. Then, brushing the hair from her eyes, I left, with a weight on my heart too heavy for tears.
For the following week, we waited in suspense. We jumped at every phone call, and the first words Felecia and I would exchange upon greeting were “Have you heard anything?”
Then, it came. Early in
the morning, the phone
rang. Alesya…..she was
free.
I wandered around the house listlessly, not knowing what to do with myself. “Oh, GOD!”, I moaned. “Why? WHY? Oh, how could You do this? She was so talented, so beautiful, so sweet! How could you take her, God? Oh, God, I prayed! I prayed for YEARS, and you promised me, Father, that they would all come to church someday. And now, this? Why, God? WHY?”
Then, once again, He spoke. “NO, Nastya. Stop. Yes, I heard your prayers. But, Child, what you don’t understand is that I have answered them in a way far greater than you could have ever dreamed of.
Daughter, I chose you – YOU – for this time.
When all her friends left her and life was very dull, I chose YOU to be there for her. I chose you to be the encouragement and strength the family needed. You wanted to spend time with her – and I created a way for you to spend every week with her, something that would have never happened otherwise. You were able to be her close friend during the last moments of her life.
THIS is why you met her, Nastya! This is the plan I had. It is because you were chosen.”
The title I chose quotes Alesya’s last words -
“Mom, don’t cry for
me!”
Ah, how can we cry when we realize that she has gone to such a beautiful place! That she suffers no pain, that she is where she longed to be. Oh, dear friend, we cannot miss you back – but we shall see you again, someday, and you shall smile upon us and say, “I told you so!”
And this is my tribute to the dear friend that left just a year ago.
VISIT FELECIA’S BLOGS FOR HER SIDE OF THE STORY AT
Posted 06.03.2009 by Nastya Andreyovna Categories:Uncategorized
THIS BLOG HAS BEEN HACKED TO ALERT EVERYONE THAT THE USER THEREOF TURNS 18 YEARS OLD TODAY!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NASTYA!
Here are 18 random facts about Nastya that you may or may not have known:
Nastya loves anything “cultured” or “professional”. Classy, refined, ritsy, high scale, professional, cultured ….. she LOVES it!
Nastya has a love for almost ANYTHING Russian. She loves the Russian people, the Russian culture and the Russian language. She knows how read, write and understand basic Russian.
Music is one of the passions of Nastya’s life. She has played harp for about 10 years and has taught herself piano. Although not yet finished with high school, she has taken a few music classes at the local community college. She wants to major in music.
Nastya does NOT like her family’s German shepherd dog Porscha.
Nastya is a very picky eater. She uses her sense of smell to test things as to whether or not they are edible and worth tasting. She loves plain food. Some of her food fav’s are white bread, meat, cheese and fruit. HAHA! Way to go, Nastya!
Nastya is a very unique and random individual!!!! Any who know her at all should know that!
Nastya HATES country music. Her most favorite type of music is, yes, CLASSICAL.
Nastya is a CHEVY supporter as opposed to FORD. Ford is out with her!
Nastya loves cars! YUP! You heard me right! A large part of that has been rubbed off on her by her brother who has an obsession with cars. Her two fav’s are …. Nissan 350Z and Infiniti G38. She also likes Corvettes and of course, Ferrari’s and Lamborghini’s – particularly Lamborghini Diablo……I think I got that one right!
Nastya hates getting up early. She will do almost all she can for just a few more minutes to sleep in. Sunday morning she generally doesn’t eat breakfast so that she can sleep longer!
Nastya would love to travel out of the United States. Her particular interests are Europe and Russia.
Nastya and France have some common loves and characteristics – cultured, stylish, modern and historical, big cities and snobby … well, I mean! lol. – maybe that’s why she would so much love to go there!
Nastya loves shoes. She particularly likes some of a heel since she is so “short”. She also loves crocs.
Nastya is not so “preppy” as she may seem. She does have a streak of wildness in her and she doesn’t mind getting dirty!
Nastya is addicted to her computer or more specifically – the internet. She was having major withdrawels while they were out of internet service for a few weeks and said she could have ALMOST kissed the Surewest guy who brought her relief – of course, she says that is still against her standards though!
Nastya loves photography. She immensley enjoys doing photoshoots and editing photos. She used to be into scrapbooking, but as of late she just “doesn’t have the patience for it”.
Nastya’s #1 goal in life is to serve her Lord Jesus Christ, to make Heaven her home and to see as many souls go with her as she can!
Ready for a couple more apologies for absence? Ah, I am sorry indeed, but my internet decided to have a massive heart attack. Almost a month without internet! Trying times, indeed! Just when I thought I couldn’t stand another day, the Herculean Surewest man came and saved my life. (saved me from a nervous breakdown, at least). Ah, if I only could have told him just exactly what I thought of him! He would have walked out the door with his thumbs under his suspenders, for certain. If I were a young lad in search of an occupation, I would definately pursue a Surewest career just to see the grateful look come to the faces of young girls for whom you fixed internets.
NOW, TO BUSINESS. A few weeks back, I was given the privilege of taking part in a recording session done by a professional …er….recorder at my music instructor’s house. I had my first experience of sitting in a quiet room with a thousand intimidating microphones staring you in the face while you try not to panic(remembering that you put off all your practicing for the past 2 days). Yes, it was rather overwhelming at first. But the recorder was a gentleman and set me at ease immediately. And once I sat down at my teacher’s beautiful harp and began to play, my heart rate slowed and the panic evaporated.
I am speaking the absolute truth when I say that I was not prepared. I could have definately have used another week of practice. But God extended much mercy to me, and the recordings weren’t a COMPLETE failure. As it was, I cringed listening to them afterwards – there was a spot in both pieces that KILLED me. But, oh well, life continues!
So now, in my most professional blog setting, I present to you my first two professionally recorded pieces. They are both short, but sweet:-). They are the first and second pieces from a French collection called “The Six Noels” by Marcel Tournier.
I promised some of you out there a CD – but I’ve decided to just post them on here since I only recorded two and neither are long….if you’d like me to email them to you so you can have them, just let me know.
So, this is for all of you who have asked me about my playing and have wanted to hear me, and for those who love harps and harp music. Here are – Noel I and Noel II, performed by me:-). Enjoy!
I HAVEN’T OFTEN made reference to the cooking abilities that I possess. With good reason, too, as I have none. Thus they are not often worth referring to. But this very evening there were a few incidents which I thought I would record, not for my benefication necessarily, but rather for your enjoyment:-).
SCENE ONE -
Mom: (calls from kitchen) “Nastya, come here! I need you!”
Me: comes bounding full speed into kitchen and screeches to a halt just before hitting the cutting board where Mom is chopping vegetables. Sees sliced cucumbers and gets jittery. Reaches hands forward and helps myself. Then asks:
Me: (with a winning smile and a mouth full of cucumbers)”Mom, do you mind if I have just a COUPLE??”
Mom: (turning from stove) “I guess you can have a couple…but I need them for the salad so don’t…”
Me: (reaches forward happily for a few more) “Thank….
(word is cut of in mid air when hand hits a pot handle protruding from the edge of the counter, and contents are knocked over and cascade over counter, vegetables, and settle in mass amounts on kitchen floor.)
(Unfortunately, the contents happen to be beef grease.)
Mom: (shrieks in horror) “NASTYA!” (places had to forehead in frustration)
Me: (covers mouth with hand and stifles mortified laughter) “I’m so sorrrryyyyy……”
(The the following 20 minutes are spent in a very remorseful Cinderella mopping up the kitchen floor again and again.)
And no, my mom didn’t REALLY shriek, she just gasped, but it sounded so good, I just thought I’d make the correction down here.
SCENE TWO -
Mom: (calls from stove) “Nastya? Remember to..(blah, blah, blah).”
Me: (ten seconds later. turns from sink where is busy rinsing out a greasy rag. Shakes head and blinks in a “did you say something, Mom?” shock)
Me: “Uh, Mom? What did you say I was supposed to remember?”
Mom: (turns from stove and looks confused.) “Uh….I don’t know. Did I tell you to remember something?”
SCENE THREE -
Me: (has been trusted with the task of making the family’s french bread for supper. Is happily pouring granulated (or something) garlic on the buttered bread. Is very proud of self.)
Mom: (looks over from kitchen table) “NASTYA!!“
Me: (garlic freezes in mid air)
Mom: (in consternation) “That’s WAY too much garlic!! What are you doing??”
Me: (proud-of-self-smile disappears, staring thoughtfully at the mounds of garlic) “Yeah, that is alot.(admits sheepishly)
Me: (grabs Spanish paprika, and smiles confidently) “Well, it’s ok! See, I’ll just pour enough paprika on to match the garlic!”
Me:(proud-of-self smile returns as I begin to pour large quantities of paprika over the bread. Bread begins to look as if it were swimming in tomato sauce.)
Mom: (looks over, eyebrows raised in shock, then shakes head and laughs ruefully.)
Me: (proud-of-self smile vanishes once more)
SCENE FOUR -
ME: (continuing work on bread. My short self is trying in vain to reach the parsley flakes on a high shelf)
Me: “Mommy, could you please get this for me?”
Mom: (sighs) “Alright, sure.” (comes over and strains to reach the parsley)
Me: (smiles in glee and turns quickly away, bringing a large cylinder of large cooking utensils with me)
CRASHHHHH!!!!!!
Me: (stares at floor in shock)
Mom: (holding parsley and laughing good-naturedly) “Well, my dear, you are just doing great today, aren’t you?”
Me: (picks up utensils hurriedly and returns them to their proper place) “Alright, I am leaving now, so you may rest in peace!”
Mom: (climbs onto chair and opens cabinet) “Wait! One more thing! Can you take these plates and set the table?”
Me: (glares at the plates with hands on hips and speaks confidentially) “Better make sure they’re PLASTIC plates, Mom.”
So you see, among the many qualities that I posses, those of a superb chef aren’t among them. It’s so bad that I’ve even passed the job of making Mac & Cheese to Connor, although I patronize over him the entire time:-). But I do hope you were able to enjoy my fatal attempts!:-)
INDEED. My prolonged absence calls forth unabated reprimands.
AND what can I say? Busy?
Yes.
Very very busy?
Most definitely.
So swamped that you haven’t found time for daily blogging?
You NAILED it.
FOR THOSE of you who know me well, you will understand that I must be extremely busy if I cannot find time to blog. But, see, there is a first for everything, and the past 8 months have been full of firsts, let me tell you!
OF COURSE you’ve been through my whole musician’s sob story about life of high school, college, and performing through the month of December. And we’ve been on vacation, and after vacation there was the culture shock of actually sitting down to bookwork/school for 7 hours a day (and NO, that didn’t go over with myself very easily).
SO THERE, my friends, is my apology – my apology for absence. Although it sounded like a compilation of excuses rather than an apology. So, my plan is thus. As I am only 3,729 posts and events behind, I’ve decided to catch up by posting some random event that has taken place recently but hasn’t made it to the public as of yet.
SO, MY DEAR readers, I hope you will remain satisfied with what scraps of time I can scrape together and mold into literary meals with which to keep you satisfied. So coming soon, and most likely unchronologically (you’re right Rebekah, I can’t even pronounce my own long words!:-) will be the histories, mysteries, tragedies, and comedies of the past few months. This, my friends, will be my compensation for the long expansions of time in which I have enveloped you in darkness. (Ok, ok, that WAS overly dramatic, but anyways….:)
Posted 07.01.2009 by Nastya Andreyovna Categories:Uncategorized
THIS is week two of the awesome WINTER BUNDLE GIVEAWAY put on by MISS JOCELYN at A PONDERING HEART. What really caught my eye at the start was the awesome pair of legwarmers (which I’ve been wanting forEVER) that are being given away. Stop by and read up! I surely hope I might be able to snag them!:-)
GET THIS ONE, guys! I was tagged by not one – but TWO different people! Wow, I stand in awe of my incredible popularity. (Shakes head in disbelief) I’ll really have to take care not to let all this attention get to my head! (Sighs). Lol.
1 – Post the six to ten things that you do on a daily basis
2 – Link to the person who tagged you.
3 – Tag five other people
4 – Leave a comment on the blog of the person that tagged you letting them know that have posted this to your blog.
5 – A rule I’m adding; you must tag at least one person who’s blog you have either just found within the last week or some one who’s blog that you don’t know very well! (added by MISS SYDNEY)
1 - Oh boy, gotta make this somewhat interesting….ok, first of all I try to not only do the routine “read my Bible and pray”, but actually get on my knees, bring my ind into focus, and actually talk to my Father. I’ve found my day goes 100% better when we’ve actually communicated, rather than me just doing the talking.
2 – I spend time at my harp. Or, rather, I USED to…because these past few months have been rather time consuming, it hasn’t been very regular…but I still try. On an ordinary basis, I like to practice for at least an hour. Two hours would be wonderful, but all the world is calling me by then.
3 - I spend time with my booney:-). He’s so cute:-). I love him. In the mornings I’ll go out into the garage to get him out of his cage – and as soon as he hears my voice, up he pops. He’ll hop and jump all around his cage in excitement before standing on his hind legs and trying to push his nose through the slats in the cage roof.He’s my fwiend:-).
4 - I walk into my room and stare at the pile of clothes on the floor, wondering how they ever could have gotten there. And I will remind myself that I REALLY need to clean them up and get them organized. And yes, there is still a pile of clothes on the floor…
5 - I read. No, not at a certain time or a certain place. It’s nearly always spontanteous. Because right now I just don’t have time for any reading AT all. But when I see that book on the table and it is open…. Ah, I simply become oblivious to the world! And one book later (no exaggeration – I can’t put it down) I look up to glance at the clock…and remember that final is tomorrow and I have one thousand, three hundred and fifty two lectures to watch before then….
7 – I sing. At the very top of my lungs. It’s really good for you, you know. It helps you find your “rhesonaterrs”. And it is a cure-all for depression. Just ask Tata:-P.
8 - I listen to Connor’s list of cars he saw that day. Yep. Every-single-day. It’s probably for that reason alone that I know what a Dodge Viper SRT10 and a Lamborghini Murcielago LP640 are.
So there you have it. Pretty random – but it makes my life interesting:-). Who to tag? Well, more like, who is LEFT to tag? Let me research my options…
FINALISTIC FRENZY….the only word that sums it up completely would simply be “stress”.Stress. And more stress.
YOU LIE IN BED, tossing and turning. You are frustrated with yourself. You simply cannot seem to relax. Your mind is racing – if there was any sort of speedometer to calculate it’s speed, it would be well over 100 mph. Your two sisters are softly snoring below you. Grace stirs in her sleep, and suddenly mumbles..”No, I don’t want it! Leave it alone!” The windows are covered in moisture from the cold fog out of doors. You turn and glance at the clock. 12:45. You’ve been lying awake for going on 3 hours.
YOU SIGH AND ROLL over once more. Your mind continues to speak…”Finals tomorrow, 2:00. And you haven’t even glanced at your rhythmic homework yet. And you REALLY need to practice intervals…hopefully you’ll have time to study hard before Iveta comes to pick you up…scholarship meeting the next day…you haven’t even thought about your speech yet…and you haven’t played the harp pieces you’re supposed to perform in weeks…hopefully you can practice after final…and then there is the play dress rehearsal at 7:00…you haven’t even started to practice for the play…harp rehearsal day after that…David’s gonna be prepared and you haven’t even learned the second half of the piece…and then your performance at the Governor’s Mansion right after that…you haven’t come up with a solo for that…and goodness, Nastya, you haven’t tuned the harps in WEEKS….”
GRADUALLY your mind slows…your eyes close…your body relaxes….
AND SUDDENLY, you are in a classroom at night. Tata is sitting at her desk, covered with papers. “Alrrite, youh dictation ees okeh, and you’ll neehd to pehform youh rhythm assighment foh me…”
YOU STAND before her, distressed. “Tata…isn’t there any extra credit? The rhythm….”
“AH, heah youh paper ees. Here, takes a look aht youh grade…”
YOU GLANCE at the paper. It is blank. You shiver with horror. Will you NEVER know what your grade is? What if you fail? Just what if…
“BUT Tata, isn’t there any extra credit……”
************
YEAH, STRESS. You get the picture. I’ve had nightmares for weeks now. And the “extra credit” is a very common factor in them. The extra credit…I should be ok if I can get extra credit…and it’s not only Tata I dream about - Dr. Gilman plays his role quite frequently. And he is a more grotesque monster even than Tata.
AND WITH ALL my harp events, the upcoming Christmas play, church…the list goes on and on. I thrive under a good challenge – I love challenge – but this has gone a little too far. I’ve experienced the emotions of the drowning, I’m afraid. There are so many things going on that I simply can’t keep up with them all. It’s a matter of “Ok, what’s going on right now, and when am I supposed to be there??”
I GO TO CHURCH and Felecia walks up to me. “Oh my goodness, Nastya, we haven’t even started to work on caroling for the resthomes!!”
“CAROLING for the….oh YEAH, you’re right, caroling for the resthomes….and when is that?”
MY FOREHEAD is wrinkled as I stare at her apprehensively.
“NEXT Wednesday…”
“NEXT Wednesday…oh, wait!” I wail, rubbing my forehead in consternation. “That’s my final….how can we make it work…”
I BURY my face in my hands as she pats my shoulder sympathetically.
************
OK, ENOUGH COMPLAINING. Now that I’ve gotten over the drama, I’ll go on to the miracles. I did promise miracles in my title, didn’t I? So I did. They weren’t earth shaking. The ground didn’t rumble ominously nor did fire and brimstone fall from heaven. But they were miracles, none the less.
IT WAS a half hour till our sight singing final. Due to my busy schedule, I hadn’t studied like I had wanted to – and now I sat at the piano, rehearsing the solos, duets, rhythms, and intervals Tata would ask us to sing. Cramming, in other words. Mom was busy in the kitchen, racing against the clock to get her butterscotch cookies done in time for us to take some to Tata. I had begged her to make a few for me to bring as a Christmas gift to Tata, and though she had warned that they would probably not be done in time, my dear mother began bringing out her pots and pans.
I SUDDENLY JUMP UP and race into the kitchen to check the clock. Iveta and I should be leaving in ten minutes, and she has not yet arrived – and what’s more, she was supposed to come early enough for us to rehearse one last time together. Me being the time-paranoid person I am, I grabbed the phone. “Yeah…I know it, I’ll be late…but I’m leaving right now ok?” Iveta’s stressed voice sounded over the line.
MY MOM looked up from her messes. “Nastya, I really don’t think the cookies are gonna be done…unless you’re gonna be late…”
IVETA WALKED in the door just as I was about to give up on rhytmic dictations. “Ohh…I shoulda done these earlier…” I moaned. “I can’t get them at all!”
“IT’LL BE ok. They’re easy. What time is it?”
“WE SHOULD be leaving right now…I usually leave a half hour before time to make sure I’m not late, even though it’s only about 10 minutes away…but we can stretch it. Let’s practice.”
WE REHEARSED for about ten minutes before glancing at the clock again. We had twenty minutes to get there, and it usually took around 15-20, due to traffic and lights. And Iveta would need to park, besides.
“WE’VE gotta go!”
“I KNOW it…”
JUST THEN, Grace poked her head around from the kitchen.
“MOM SAYS the cookies will be done in about 2 minutes.”
IVETA and I looked at each other.
“WELL....if it’s just two…I don’t really wanna leave after she’s made them…”
IVETA looked at me and raised her eyebrows.
“I AIN’T speeding.” She stated solemnly.
IT WAS 15 minutes till class before we were on the road, cookies and all.
“WE ARE gonna be so late, Nastya….”
“WELL….if we tell her we’re late because of her cookies, I don’t think she’ll have a problem with it…wait…Iveta, I’m gonna pray.”
“OK, you pray.”
I CLOSED my eyes and clasped my hands in a despairing gesture.
“DEAR JESUS, Thank you for all that you’ve done, but PLEASE help us to get to class on time, God, and if it’s your will, PLEASE help us to do well on the final. Amen.”
IT SEEMED every stoplight we came to was red. Minutes seemed like hours. Using all her knowledge of time saving strategies, Iveta pulled her car into the campus with less than five minutes to spare.
“WE’RE not gonna make it!”
“IT’S OK, God will work it out. I prayed.”
WE BEGAN running. I felt as stupid as I looked, short and squat, plodding along in a straight, long skirt and a backpack as large as a suitcase. My shoe kept slipping off. Stuff kept falling from Iveta’s backpack. We continued to run.
WE ARRIVED at the door and glanced at our watches. To our astonishment, we had nearly made it – almost to the second. We exchanged a happy grin. Then, peeking in the window, we received another complete surprise.
FOR OUR SIGHT singing finals, Tata has only two people come into the classroom at a time. We sign up in pairs and she rehearses us together. As we peeked through the classroom window, we saw that the two students ahead of us were still hard at work. We waited outside the room, catching our breath. Five minutes passed, Ten minutes. “Wow, Nastya, God sure answered that innocent prayer of yours!” Iveta smiled, and I grinned back. Not only had God brought us there in time, but He had given us ten minutes to spare! Isn’t He wonderful? But His wondrous acts weren’t yet finished.
WE OPENED the door and walked in.
“AH, cum een, cum enn, girhls!” Tata greeted us with her cheerful smile.
I WALKED towards her and pulled out the cookie bag.
“MERRY Christmas, Tata!”
HER SMILE gave way to a dropped jaw in disbelief.Then suddenly her face flooded with happiness. Beaming, she took the bag and held out her arms to me.
“AHH…dat ees so NICE of you! Ahh, sank you so vedy much! Ahh, sank you! Dey smell so guhd! Sometimes students weel do dat to me, and it is so nice, because I just sit in dis room for four hours..”
“AW,” I thought, “”I’m sure glad we waited for those cookies!”
IVETA and I seated ourselves for testing and pulled out our books. Tata picked up two papers on her desk and held them out to us. Our dictation finals from last week! How had we done??
“NASTYA, you vedy vedy good, one hundred percent…”
I GRABBED the paper and uttered an exclamation of joy. Yes, I had prayed over that test too. Yet I had hardly dared to hope…a cry of thanks rose to my heavenly Father.
“IVETA, you do much, much bettah!”
“OH MY goodness! Look, Nastya! 40 out for 50 points! And I was praying so hard, God at least 30 points…please, at least 30 points..and it’s almost 40!”
IVETA was overjoyed. Although she got along fine in the written skills, dictation wasn’t her line, and we had spent much time trying to improve that portion of her paperwork.
THE PAPERS set aside, Tata began to drill us. As the minutes passed, my heart began to sink. I messed up when I tried to sing a major 6th and name the notes. And when she asked me to sight sing a piece, I messed up on the end. No such one hundred percent luck on this one!
EVERYTHING FINISHED, Iveta and I leaned forward as Tata wrote figures on her grid. In just moments we would know our final grade for her portion of the class. How had we done?
“NASTYA, on dis final, not bad. You miss only fouh points. Iveta, you miss only fouh points too.”
SILENCE followed as we breathless watched her calculate the last points.
“NOW, youh final grade in dees class. Iveta, you fine. You passed! Nastya, you have…105%. You…you ah ovah de top!”
MY MOUTH dropped as I looked at her smiling face. I was in shock. 105%? How could that be possible? I shook my head in disbelief as I raised my eyes heavenward. There was only one person to praise. Another miracle had been performed. Never could I have managed that on my own!
AND SO this story, though to be continued, ends happily. Though there is more to come, the Great Author has written a wonderful story so far and I am sure that He will continue to do so. What a mighty God we serve! All praise to His dear name!
Yes, it is, at last, countdown week! College over in 7 days!!!!! Well, not quite(sigh). Our written final will take place on the 17th, but sight singing is tomorrow! At last! I’ve posted above a video of Iveta and I rehearsing our duets for the final. And, surely, I’d appreciate prayers. I am at last starting to see a faint light at the end of the tunnel of December…and my life is coming back to me in small segments, one event finished at a time! College finished….high school, here I come!;-) Sigh. I know, something dreadfully wrong with this picture. But that’s the way it is. Live and learn! No Music Theory 1 and Senior high school year at the same time….unless you’ve REALLY got your act together!
To my dear readers,
I sincerely apologize for my lack of activity on my blog as of recently. School has been much to demanding to let me spend much time on here. But in a few months, it should all be over, and I'll be back - on a new blog! Yes, in accordance with my undecided personality, I've chosen to move my blog once more. This should be for the last time. I've slept on the name for months now, and so far it's fit:-). So come summer, I should be announcing the arrival of my new page, THE COSMOPOLITAN. Until then, you'll be obliged to be content with my few and far between posts, and also my twitter updates. Take care!
~Nastya
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NASTYA!
HAHA! Way to go, Nastya!
GREETINGS, my dear friends!
